Article July 28, 1923 Issue

Good Manners

MARGARET LATHAM HULL

Every one has at some time or other deeply desired the possession of that outward form of gentleness known as "good manners," and each has just as deeply desired the same manifestation in others toward himself. Who has not felt, many times, that had he only possessed the "open sesame" of good manners, some door of opportunity might have been opened, a situation saved, or an embarrassment relieved. Too often the word of encouragement has come to our lips after the needy one has ceased to turn to us for solace; the word of welcome, after the stranger has left our gates; the act of forgiveness, when the penitent one has hardened himself to accept our false estimate of him,—all because we did not grasp the situations quickly enough to meet them with good manners,—the needed word fearlessly and lovingly spoken.

Whatever our seeming limitations from deficient training, undesirable surroundings, or lack of culture, each of us can obtain for himself this priceless possession, and can help to call forth the same from others; for the rule has been given clearly and explicitly by Jesus in the commandment, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." If this commandment be studied with an earnest desire to understand and practice it, good manners will be one outcome of such right thinking; and they will be as unobtrusive as they are gracious; and we shall find ourselves living up to the best that we know, at the same time lovingly helping our neighbor. Who is our neighbor? Certainly not merely one who dwells near, which is the commonly accepted meaning of the word. Is our neighbor not also every one upon whom our thought dwells? And how can we love every one our thought dwells upon? By seeing man as the son of God; by understanding the words of John, "Beloved, now are we the sons of God."

We have as the perfect Exemplar, Jesus of Nazareth, whose coming was foretold by Isaiah in the words, "Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good.... For butter and honey shall every one eat that is left in the land." In all of Jesus' relations with others he refused the evil and did choose the good. When he changed the water into wine at the marriage feast, stilled the tempest, healed the withered hand, had he not refused the evil in each of these cases,—lack in the first, discord in the second, disease in the third,—could he have demonstrated over evil, and chosen the good as he did?

Send a comment to the editors

We'd love to hear from you!

Easily submit your testimonies, articles, and poems online.

Submit

Good Manners

We'd love to hear from you!

Sign up for unlimited access