It was fear and despondency that caused me to cry out...

It was fear and despondency that caused me to cry out for God and, after years of wandering, to find Him in Christian Science. I was not very well bodily, but such ailments as I had were more bearable than the mental depression. This was so from my earliest remembrance, though from no visible reason. I had home, kind parents, brothers, sisters, friends; but I was restless, unsatisfied, and longed for something I could not find. The words of the Psalm were often in my thought, "As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God."

I was brought up an orthodox minister's daughter, and tried very hard to find God as others felt they had, but could not, and at times I feard that the doctrine of predestination explained my inability to reach Him. As I grew older I became skeptical. I could se evil, sorrow, sin, hardship, but could not see God, could not find Him. I wondered, and questioned, Where is He?

I was miserable, but after a while I grew more prayerful, more softened, and then "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" came to my notice, and surely in answer to my earnest longing.

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July 2, 1904
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