Testimony of Healing April 29, 1911 Issue

I have long wished to declare the gratitude I feel for...

Hilda Hewitt

I have long wished to declare the gratitude I feel for the benefits received through Christian Science, as it has helped me very much, mentally, morally, and physically; it has given me hope, and is helping me to be less selfish. I suffered from childhood with headaches, neuralgia, and internal trouble; was nearly always tired and seldom without pain; besides many distressing mental and moral symptoms. The doctors said I was incurably ill. At times the world seemed nothing but a howling wilderness of misery and pain. The orthodox teachings never appealed to me or helped me in any way, and I looked for the truth in other directions, from which I received a good deal of comfort and the desire to be better. But in a moment of desperation, having been feeling especially bad physically and morally for many months, I decided to take treatment from a hypnotist, one who called himself a mental scientist and magnetic healer. My last state was certainly worse than the first. I seemed to be losing my individuality; my thoughts seemed to change suddenly and against my will; I had horrifying dreams and psychic experiences; finally I felt my memory going, and I was in most intense fear.

In this state, after many fervent prayers, Christian Science found me. I got the text-book, Science and Health, and began to read. Though for many weeks I had not had enough concentration to read and take in one whole page of ordinary literature, I read through three whole chapters of Science and Health without realizing how much I had read. Then I found that my exhausted brain had cleared wonderfully; it seemed as if some terrible tension had snapped. When I saw the heading of the next chapter, "Christian Science versus Spiritualism," and again the one following, "Animal Magnetism Unmasked," I could scarcely believe my eyes. I knew it was going to be the truth about them. I had heard many opinions on these subjects and had had a great deal more practical experience than I cared for; but I was satisfied that the writer of this book knew! I saw how hopelessly deluded a poor mortal can be; I saw the illusion, within illusion, the wheels within wheels, as plainly as possible; but after a few hours the fear returned, so that I was not able to go on reading.

However, I felt happier and more hopeful than I had done for some time, until friends began to dispute the teachings of Christian Science, and I was again plunged into "outer darkness." My mind seemed so sore and sensitive that wherever I went or whoever I spoke to I feared they would begin to talk about Christian Science, and I felt too helplessly weak and powerless to defend it. I applied for help to a Christian Science practitioner, and shall not forget the kind sympathy, wonderful patience, and generosity she showed. It was uphill work for her, as the old illusions and the morbid suffering were persistent. I have received much help at times through Science, and have been able to help others a little, and my health has slowly improved in nearly every way. I received the same kindness and generosity from two other practitioners to whom I applied. I know I have only myself to thank, if at times I feel that I am not entirely out of the wood; some of the trees in the wood look very attractive to me at times, and I give them power to keep me from getting into broad daylight and sunshine.

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