Article December 11, 1909 Issue

THE JOY OF REPENTANCE

C. M. CARROLL WHITE.

Some months ago, when I did not know from personal experience that Christian Science is demonstrable, the title of this article would have brought forth a cynical smile. If one had even hinted the possibility of repentance (grief, as I knew it to be) being accepted by any sane person as a joy, I should have met it with a shrug. Today I not only know this seeming contradiction to be an absolute truth, but I actually understand why it cannot be otherwise. The change which an individual consciousness has to undergo ere it willingly accepts repentance as a "fruit of the Spirit," has been experienced by every true Christian Scientist. Most Christians experience joy on conversion; but joy in repentance is an entirely different thing. In my former thought repentance meant a period of grief, the performance of some imposed penance, and often my grief was followed by a fit of melancholy, this being succeeded by a brief period of ecstatic happiness, which in turn, as I sinned again, gave way once more to grief.

Long before Christian Science had been brought to my attention I had reached the conclusion that the human mind is a subtle and peculiar piece of mechanism, and all the more dangerous because of its alleged reality. Often, at revival meetings, I have listened to the testimonies of converts, but while feeling that they were honest in their profession of a complete change of life, I was myself never brought to repentance, nor even to a desire to embrace religion, though I was always willing, and in fact anxious, to procure some means of overcoming sin and sickness.

An incident which memory recalls right here, and one I can never forget, occurred during my attendance at one of these revival meetings in New York city several years ago. I was accompanied by a young clergyman who had left his native church to rid himself of superstition and hypnotism, and had gone over to an entirely different form of faith. During the testimony of a shabbily-dressed but terribly sincere man, the clergyman seemed to be deeply affected, and remarked: "Poor fellow, he little knows how much of his suffering is due to church teaching. If he knew what persecution some innocent men have to endure for doing what they believe to be God's bidding, he would scarcely believe it. My God! I'd exchange positions in life with him this minute. His bitterest grief is a joy compared to the woes I am compelled to bear."

Send a comment to the editors

NEXT IN THIS ISSUE

Article

LOOKING ALWAYS FOR GOOD