Testimony of Healing July 12, 1919 Issue

In the winter of 1915, while suffering from a nervous...

Helen F. Erskine

In the winter of 1915, while suffering from a nervous breakdown, I was told of the healing power of Christian Science, but being very much prejudiced I turned from the one way out and during the weeks which followed suffered severely in body and mind. Then I received a letter from a friend who had been healed, through Christian Science, of a nervous trouble similar to mine. This letter told me that God did not send my suffering; that He sends only good to His children and evil has no power over them. The beautiful promises in the ninety-first psalm were quoted to answer my doubt. Still my eyes were too full of tears of self-pity to open to the Christ, Truth, which was knocking at the door of consciousness. In despair the letter was laid aside, and I suffered even more intensely than before.

For eight years I had passed through one siege of illness after another and this seemed more than I could bear. Hope seemed gone and my prayer for health and happiness ceased. My one longing was to find God before the end came. Unable to sleep day or night, this desire filled my thought. Mrs. Eddy tells us (Science and Health, p. 2), "The desire which goes forth hungering after righteousness is blessed of our Father, and it does not return unto us void;" so my answer came first in a sudden decision to send my nurse away, for I saw that God alone could help me. Accordingly the nurse was dismissed, and because I was turning from material means to absolute reliance on God, I was able to dress and go about the house as usual; but the darkness seemed always hovering near and but for the glimpses of light which came at intervals I could not have lived through the times when the darkness settled down like night around me. Two days later a dear friend came to see me. She was not a Christian Scientist, but had seen much good wrought through its practice, and to my great surprise proposed that I give it a trial. This time I agreed to read "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures," and a copy was borrowed from the public library secretly, for I was not ready to meet the opposition which I expected from those nearest to me. Upon retiring I opened the book, and lo! time was forgotten as I walked in a new world with Love for my guide. About three o'clock in the morning I realized that I had not been asleep. I placed the book under my pillow, but my newfound joy could not be put aside for even a few hours. I was healed, for I saw clearly that as God's child, His image and likeness, I had never been sick. In that hour I saw the nothingness of matter and the allness and perfection of God, Spirit, and therefore the perfection of man as spiritual.

After that I read Science and Health every minute I could. I asked few questions, had no doubts, but accepted its teachings wholly. I began attending the Wednesday evening testimony meetings, and those first meetings I shall never forget; then suddenly I realized that I wanted to attend the Sunday service also. This seemed almost impossible when the thought first came, for it meant leaving all I had ever known of human love and approval. I went to my first Sunday service in tears; I came away with love in my heart, and peace and harmony seemed to surround me. There has been a constant unfolding of good to me ever since. My every need has been supplied, and I feel deeply grateful for the way in which I have been led. Within a year of the time of my breakdown I was again teaching school.

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Testimony of Healing

With a grateful heart I give this testimony