Testimony of Healing March 2, 1918 Issue

I did not come to Christian Science for physical healing,...

Ella Hawse Riggles

I did not come to Christian Science for physical healing, but because of a deep desire to know God, and when I found and entered His kingdom through the teachings of Christian Science, the "other things" promised by Christ Jesus were added in the exact ratio that my thought was prepared to receive the blessing. For ten years prior to this time my health was greatly impaired, and in the language of Scripture I "suffered many things of many physicians," but received no permanent help. Three months of nervous prostration left me with a form of heart disease so severe as to cause frequent attacks of unconsciousness. I also suffered intensely with varicose veins, neuralgia, and a serious organic disease. For a young woman with the responsibility of a home and small children, the outlook was far from promising.

In conformity with custom I had joined a church in girlhood, but the social life was all that appealed to me. In after years, because of my husband's prominence in church work, I began to investigate the deeper significance of church membership. I wanted my Christianity to be as practical as my housekeeping; I wanted peace and harmony and justice in my human affairs, but when I asked for bread I was given a stone. I was told that God sends sickness and affliction to strengthen and form character. When as a mother I sought help and guidance for the daily training and protection of my children, I was told that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children "unto the third and fourth generation." Disappointed, rebellious, resentful beyond words to describe, I left the church and cast my boat adrift on the sea of chance. Material remedies, will power, blind faith, likewise failed me, and for a year my beliefs were "as a pendulum swinging between nothing and something, having no fixity" (Science and Health, p. 23). My physical condition was not to be compared to the mental unrest—the fear, discouragement, and doubt which pursued me day and night. Somehow I knew that back of all this inharmony there was a reality, but I never supposed it could be found on this side of the grave.

When the last material prop had failed, I found a copy of the Christian Science Sentinel, and that day marked the beginning of the new birth. Except for the name, I knew nothing of this teaching, but I was not prejudiced against it. I wanted God, and it did not matter to me by what means I found Him. The physical healing spoken of in the testimonies did not appeal to me so much as the joy and peace which they expressed. I thought if those people had found a religion which met their every need, then I could find it, too. I felt that if I could find God and know Him I would be willing to carry around my sick body always; but Truth does not work in any half way. The Master's promise, "If ye continue in my word, ... ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free," is operative throughout all time. That same day a visit was made to a Christian Scientist for information regarding the textbook, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy. She loaned me a copy, saying it would teach me about God, who is Love, and of man's relationship to Him.

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