Testimony of Healing January 5, 1918 Issue

The study of Christian Science was not in my case taken...

Hattie J. Bonnell

The study of Christian Science was not in my case taken up for the healing of physical ills, but to satisfy a craving for something higher and better than anything I knew. I always had this longing, which was largely manifested in an insatiable desire to learn; and about the only book I ever had access to that was left unread was the one book which could have given me the knowledge I craved, namely, the Bible. Up to six years ago the only reading I ever gave the Bible was prompted solely by a sense of duty—and needless to say, nothing was gained from such reading.

Until about eight years ago I had thought that with the possession of the material things one desired plus human knowledge and the love of family and friends, happiness and peace of mind could be had; but at this time it became plain to me that something more was needed. The thought persisted that if we grown-ups only had a wonderful all-wise parent to tell us what to do and when to do it as parents tell their children, how happy I for one would be to do his bidding, and thereby be relieved of the responsibility of making my own decisions, which as often as not, regardless of right desire, seemed to end far short of my hope. In no way did I associate this hope with the God I had been taught about or had read about. It seemed to me there must be a rule to do everything by, and that good results would be assured in proportion to our fidelity in following it; but there seemed no such rule to live by, and no such surety of happy results.

For about two years this desire for something sure was a wish only. During this time I was looking for the wisdom which guides and governs, but I was not looking in the right direction. One evening while a friend was talking with me, she asked me why I was not connected with some church. In answer I said that I could not conscientiously subscribe to the creed of any church I knew. While I had always appreciated the influence of the church, loved its services and found inspiration in them, felt calmed and uplifted by its sacred quiet, deeply stirred by its music, there was no church that I knew whose members did not fall far short of its teachings.

Send a comment to the editors

NEXT IN THIS ISSUE

Testimony of Healing

Christian Science has brought me peace that passes all...