I had treatment once or twice and had heard much of...

I had treatment once or twice and had heard much of Christian Science before I ever thought more than casually about it. Then, although I read the literature obediently for many weeks, it was nearly always with doubt and a dread of a certain change which I feared it would bring about in me. It seemed as if there was everything the matter with me, but what tortured me most was a strange depression. Good physicians treated me, but I experienced no permanent relief and was always in a state of fear. They pronounced the trouble a complete breakdown. I had headache, stomach disorder, and exhaustion to the extent that my eyelids would close while walking or riding or eating, and I have awakened once or twice wondering if I were already dead.

I was almost desperate at the time Christian Science was recommended to me, and Science and Health was read purely because there was nothing else to do and always it was with tears of self-pity or doubt. I do not believe any one ever approached Christian Science—so gentle and so full of love as it is—in a frame of mind so peculiar and unreasonable as was mine. The healing was slow, but with the loving help of a practitioner the many ills have one by one slipped away into nothingness.

I am more grateful every day for what Christian Science is teaching me, and above all for the goodness of Him from whom we receive not "the spirit of bondage again to fear," but "the Spirit of adoption," by which we cry, "Father."

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January 27, 1917

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