Testimony of Healing October 28, 1905 Issue

The first ray of light which shone into my darkened consciousness,...

Martha Cole

The first ray of light which shone into my darkened consciousness, through the understanding of Christian Science, convinced me that it is the pearl of great price. All my life I had been a slave to the most intense fear, as a result. I now know, of my early religious teaching. I was taught of a God of vengeance, who had sacrificed His own Son to appease His wrath, and who had prepared a place of eternal torture for those who did not love Him. The more I heard and read of this God the more firmly convinced I became that I never could love Him, so I could see no way to escape eternal torment. The thought of my fate filled me with terror, which manifested itself in almost every ill that mortals know. I was always sick, always taking medicine, always praying that I might learn in some way to love God. Nothing, however, but the most terrible haunting sense of fear filled my thoughts. My parents were devout people and I joined their church and tried to live a Christian life, but my fears were only increased from the fact that I had thus made a public profession that I loved God.

The one thing that seemed to me stranger than all else, was that only a part of Jesus' teaching was applied to the Christian life. I noticed that many of those who professed to love God most had the least love for their neighbors, and that the most eloquent preachers did not even attempt to heal the sick. I asked those whom I thought ought to know why it was thus, but no one seemed to know. I then began to wonder how they knew they were Christians. It gradually dawned upon me that I was slowly but surely losing faith in the theology of the church, and this greatly disturbed me, as I had been taught that to doubt was an unpardonable sin. My life became a weary wilderness of doubt, fear, and uncertainty, although day after day was spent in secret longing and prayer that I might know what was right.

Years went by, and receiving no answer to my prayer I became weak, sick, and despondent, with no hope of relief either here or hereafter. At this time I heard of Christian Science, and though I heard but little, it attracted me as nothing else had done for years, and I at once began an investigation, which resulted, after two years of struggle, opposition, and almost insurmountable obstacles, in finding myself at the home of one of Mrs. Eddy's students, in Kansas City, asking for help. I was filled with fear and trembling, for I had no idea of what a treatment meant. The method was very simple; I had often seen people sit with closed eyes in silent prayer, but what I never had before experienced was the glorious result of that seemingly simple process. By it I was transformed. The long night had passed, the morning was come, and all the glories of earth and heaven were revealed! Love filled all space and Love was revealed as my God. There was no fear, sin, sickness, or death in all the glorious universe. All that I have found, as a result of Christian Science prayer, eternity alone can tell, and it would be impossible to write all my blessings down. I daily thank my heavenly Father for the proof of His protecting care in giving us our brave, self-sacrificing Leader, Mrs. Eddy. For years I have read every article in our Sentinel, and in the Journal, with loving thanks for the help they have been to me. I am thankful to be able to point others to the loving Father, who healeth all our diseases, and I try to realize, as did David, that "Thine, O Lord, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, . . . all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine."

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