Testimony of Healing August 13, 1904 Issue

From childhood these questions constantly recurred to my...

Alice M. Swarthout

From childhood these questions constantly recurred to my thought: "What is God? why does He let people sin and suffer? and is there no escape from these dark conditions?

My thought was always, Why can I not be free from these things, and who is there that has not longed to be free from the doubts and fears of an unknown future and the struggles and strife of daily existence? Growing older, the doubts and fears increased and there came a time when the very existence of God was doubted by me.

Having a thirst for the truth, I began to study my Bible in the hope that it might give me what I sought. I saw that it was full of beautiful promises, but why did not Christians receive them? If the promises of the Bible were true, how should I obtain them? The truths expressed in Scripture seemed always to evade my search; sometimes that which I wanted seemed just within my grasp, only to vanish again. Failing in my own efforts to find God, and being possessed by a continual hunger for a knowledge of Him. I became a member of an orthodox church, in the hope that it might make plain the way. Again there was disappointment, for I found it impossible to accept all the doctrines to which the church subscribed, still I held on to it, as it seemed the best resort to me.

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