Among the first things the earnest beginner learns in Christian Science is that he starts out at once with an unexpected patient on his hands, and one of the most troublesome he will ever have to deal with. None can come to him in the future who will demand more of his attention, none who will be more difficult to manage, none who will be more insistent, more unreasonable, or more selfish. This patient, of course, is he himself; and discovery of this fact will be no less interesting than disturbing.

One new in Science, who for the first time awakens to the realization that healing, like charity, begins at home, is likely to be not only surprised, but amazed, at the number and variety of the claims which this first and troublesome patient makes upon his sympathy, his prejudices, and his affections. Here is presented to him an exposition of self which he never thought existed, or could exist, in such close proximity and intimacy.

He would not believe it possible had he not made the discovery himself! It seems to him utterly incredible that he could have been for so long a time on close terms with one so steeped in self-will, self-righteousness, self-conceit, self-satisfaction, and at the same time so deeply immersed in self-exculpation and self-apology. Why, this patient, as he appears to the awakened consciousness of the young Scientist, seems to have been literally engrossed and wrapped in self-contemplation! His whole aim apparently is to attract attention to himself, to enlist interest in himself, to induce sympathy toward himself. One moment he is bent upon self-admiration, the next upon self-condemnation. Now he is obsessed with the thought of self-dependence; again he is in the depths of self-debasement. He confesses, he denies, he is frank, he is secretive, he is abashed, he is bold. He makes a parade of self-pride, or he is crushed beneath self-humiliation.

As the young Scientist first beholds himself thus, there is an evident disposition on his part to defend himself, to excuse himself, to condone his errors. But it soon becomes clear that only by putting his understanding of Christian Science into practice and dealing with himself regardless of all ties of relationship, can he bring about a healing which will encourage him to demonstrate the truth for others. In other words, he sees that his first patient—himself—must be handled thoroughly in Science before he can safely assume the responsibility of attempting to heal others. He must be strict, even to the extent of closing his ears to all pleas for exceptional or preferential consideration—for immunity, for procrastination, or for compromise.

At various times and in various ways our Leader, Mrs. Eddy, strives to impress upon her students and followers the necessity of taking themselves into serious consideration first of all. "Students of Christian Science," she tells us in "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" (p. 451), "who start with its letter and think to succeed without the spirit, will either make shipwreck of their faith or be turned sadly awry. They must not only seek, but strive, to enter the narrow path of Life, for 'wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat.' "

The Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science has not at any time appealed to a selfish human interest when she has persistently instilled into the thought of her students the all-importance of self-protection against all selfishness, all evil, through spiritual understanding of man's unity with God, in the performance of their duties. Time and again she dwells upon the subject, because she wishes to forestall all the shafts of error that might, and possibly would, be directed against her followers; but she never intends to alarm, much less to frighten them; on the contrary, her desire is to expose the impotency of error in all its manifestations and ramifications. On page 448 of Science and Health she says: "If the student adheres strictly to the teachings of Christian Science and ventures not to break its rules, he cannot fail of success in healing. It is Christian Science to do right, and nothing short of right doing has any claim to the name."

There is no greater protection to the individual worker in Christian Science than is found in a humble desire to be about God's business. It is God who guides, governs, and heals. This must be constantly recognized. Human will, human desire for prominence and leadership, are dangerous advisers. The moment one begins to think that he is essential to the proper conduct of God's work on earth there is danger ahead. God does His own work, and does it well. The taking on of personal anxiety or responsibility about God's business, about one's patients, one's associate church members, one's branch church, or about The Mother Church, is intruding upon the prerogative of divine authority. Too often is divine Principle, divine Mind, divine Love, brushed aside, that an individual may have his way, or his say, concerning some question or problem which belongs wholly to Deity. There are many who think that having their own way is a demonstration in Christian Science, whereas, in point of fact, it is an exploiting only of self-opinion, self-conceit, or self-satisfaction. It is not difficult for the average mortal to be self-assertive, to wish to control others, to talk long and often upon what he imagines to be the right side of every trivial question; it does, however require spiritual strength, forbearance, love, reliance upon God, to enable one in the midst of heated controversy to seal his lips and know that the wisest course is mentally and humbly to depend on Principle, through complete self-surrender, so that the one Mind may settle everything harmoniously.

We shall be doing a good deal toward taking care of ourselves in Christian Science when we take care that we are doing our work prayerfully, intelligently, faithfully, to the best of our understanding, and then leave the rest to God. Fear lest God may not do His part is sinful. We must discipline self to recognize fully our place in the universe of Mind and to accept it with gratitude. This is an essential step toward higher recognition and greater responsibility.