I was called upon to fill the office of Second Reader in my...

I was called upon to fill the office of Second Reader in my branch church at the time that my beloved husband passed on. I had thought all support and joy and companionship had gone from my life. However, when I was compelled to deeply study the Bible Lessons in the Christian Science Quarterly in order to fulfill my appointed task, I progressively found the most wonderful and satisfying companionship with God. Through deep and lengthy study of the Bible and of Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy I received the joy that no man can give us or take from us. Also, in a little notebook I wrote down all blessings large and small that came into my daily life—such things as a loving phone call, a kind act by a neighbor, or a meal prepared by a friend. These blessings multiplied as my gratitude increased. The whole three years of my Readership were years of growth and a new kind of happiness.

Recently I have had a healing of inflamed nerves, which appeared to be sciatica. The pain was severe, and I was not able to walk, or to sit or lie down freely. I did receive prayerful help from Christian Science practitioners at different times, but the healing seemed delayed. I finally had to search my thought very deeply and to ask what it was I most wanted—to be free of the pain or to learn more of God. I knew it was the latter. I went to the Christian Science Reading Room and purchased a new copy of Science and Health; my other ones were well marked. I wished to make a fresh start reading it through. Humbly I began to read this dear book again. A sentence leaped out at me (p. 70): "Does life or soul exist in the thing formed?" Later I read (p. 310), "The artist is not in his painting." I do some painting and know that the paintings are only my thought objectified. I saw clearly that God, Life, Soul, is not in me but that I live, move, and have my being in Him. I am His idea, the object of His understanding, not in matter but in Mind. The only substance I have is spiritual, which is free and active forever. The healing came quietly and completely as I continued my humble study of this wonderful book, and I am now completely free of the false claim of disease.

While on a tour in a country just outside my own, I was taken violently ill one night with what appeared to be food poisoning. As I was in a remote village and in an old inn with no phone available it became imperative for me to work this out alone with God. Negative thoughts suggested themselves to me: "You can't possibly be up early with your bag packed, ready to go on. You cannot even get home from here. There is no one to help you."

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March 20, 1978

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