Article October 18, 1941 Issue

Banishing Loneliness

[Written Especially for Young People]

JEANNE STEELE ABELE

As young people grow up, many go away to school or college, or take their place in the business world, and such changes always present the necessity for making adjustments of one kind or another. Often, when one steps into a new and different environment, the problem of loneliness presents itself. Here Christian Science is indeed the Comforter, because it teaches us how to turn to God, and guides us into normal, happy relationships with others.

Sometimes in school or business there seems to be an unequal distribution of material goods, but this need not result in a condition of snobbishness on the one hand or patronage seeking on the other. We must realize that "every good gift" comes "down from the Father of lights." To make the most of any gift, we must share it with others. Thus, if we feel lonely, are we not in reality being selfish? Because certainly each of us has something he can share with another. It is just as important to share kindness and understanding as it is to share material wealth. Of course, it is necessary to look actively for the opportunity to do good. Simply sitting back and asking God for what we want, does not bring it to us, because actually we already have everything we need. We must prove our confidence in God's ability to supply every need, to solve every problem, by applying the teachings of Christian Science in working each one out. To gain the friendship of others we do not need to rely on our human personality or to be willfully aggressive in demanding attention. As we express divine attributes we are enabled to form admirable and desirable friendships. The qualities of kindness, sympathy, helpfulness, and honesty, if consistently demonstrated in work or school activities, will draw others to those manifesting them. We are inevitably drawn to those who express the qualities we most admire and should most like to have ourselves. Thus the newcomer will find his right place, the place where he will be privileged to do the most good and be the happiest, and where his efforts will be met with gratitude and appreciation.

A young girl recently enrolled in a large school where most of the students seemed to have much more, materially, than she had. She felt this difference strongly, and not desiring to push herself in where she felt she did not belong, spent several lonely weeks without making any friends. Since she seemed to be entirely outside all the social activities, she prayerfully examined her thinking, and realized that she was accepting the belief that she was not wanted. She was not making an effort to be friendly, and was building around herself a wall of resentment and self-pity. She was led to a verse in the Bible (Proverbs 18:24), "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly," and also to these lines by Mary Baker Eddy in "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" (p. 518): "The rich in spirit help the poorin one grand brother hood, all having the same Principle, or Father; and blessed is that man who seeth his brother's need and supplieth it, seeking his own in another's good." She knew she had something to offer that would be helpful to others, even though materially she did not seem to have so much as they. She knew she could express love to all whom she met. The girl made a radical change in her thinking, remembering that in reality all have the same divine Parent, our Father-Mother God, and she began to expect to see love and friendliness expressed. Mrs. Eddy writes (ibid., p. 426), "When the destination is desirable, expectation speeds our progress." The girl, buoyed up by her expectancy of good, began to make friendly overtures. To her joy, these were graciously returned, and soon she had found her right place among the students. She was not only healed of her own loneliness, but as time went on, also found many opportunities to help others out of the same unhappy and unnecessary bondage.

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