Article April 19, 1913 Issue

SELF-SURRENDER

KATE W. BUCK.

It has been well said that "no conflict is so severe as his who labors to subdue himself," but when in an individual a genuine desire has awakened actually to accomplish this end, then indeed there is promise that he will reach the highest. Until such a desire is born, progress toward the realities of being must needs be slow. Most of us are quite ignorant of this giant of self in our pathway, or, vaguely realizing that there is something there, fail to call it by name. Often, while seeing clearly the rocks upon which a neighbor stumbles, we lack the insight that would reveal the same obstruction confronting us.

Humanity is apt to look upon a person of strong will and determination as a tower of strength, and the individual himself comes to feel that he is a help and support, in many instances, to seemingly weaker brethren. This he not unnaturally looks upon as a good thing; he likes to be relied upon, and honestly resolves to be worthy of the confidence placed in him. Eager to help, ready to be called on in any emergency, he trusts to his self-reliance, and uses it as a sort of prop for those who seek and are glad to lean on him for support.

When a person of this character comes, usually through much stress, to seek the kingdom of God, he finds it hard to enter in, and he wonders why, as he recalls his many deeds of kindness and looks upon the records and testimonies of his friends as proofs of a well-spent life. Seeking first perhaps intellectually, and failing utterly, he then starts in, with a fixed determination that has never before failed him along other lines, to conquer here in the same way. Again he meets with defeat. Inquiring of some one who has found the way, it may be gently pointed out to him that he learn humility. "No, I thank you," will doubtless be the response, holding in mind a Uriah Heep sort of man, or one of weak will upon whom no one would ever think of depending. To be dependable seems most desirable, and makes one capable of accomplishing much good. When other things needful to the achievement of that to which he has set himself are proposed, he will be likely to affirm, "All these have I kept from my youth up." Not accustomed to being baffled, however, he keeps on, conscious that he is holding to something of which he would fain let go; at the same time he gets occasional glimpses of light that make him know there are greater glories to be revealed, and he is eager to behold them; yet he brings up again and again against what seems a blank wall, beyond which he cannot go.

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