Testimony of Healing June 25, 1910 Issue

Every one is in some way hoping for something not realized

Rose D. Haskell with contributions from Silas A. Haskell

Every one is in some way hoping for something not realized. It may be that in some cases thought has reached despair through hope deferred; yet the hope is there, waiting, longing, for the promises to be fulfilled. That the unseen reality exists, is proved by our very longings. It is the substance which we unconsciously crave, that which the world can neither give nor take away. Thus it is that Christian Science comes into the lives of so many, causing them to rejoice that they have caught even a glimpse of that hoped-for something which assures them that the day of attaining the fulfilment is near.

Twenty-one years ago I was facing conditions which, according to the verdict of physicians, meant insanity or death. All my previous life had been marred by a sense of weakness, disappointment, incapacity to think for myself in a beneficial way. I seemed to be drifting, with no guide, yet dreaming, hoping for something, when I awoke to the fact that I had nothing to prevent the results predicted by materia medica. Then I determined that if there was a God I would find Him, and my very soul cried out for the living God, for I needed Him so much ! I would spend an hour each morning on my knees in prayer, telling some one who I hoped did exist, my desperate needs and begging for a release from such a fate. One morning my heart seemed nearly breaking, and as I was pouring out words of entreaty there came a rebuke—something prevented further utterance. I was astonished, and wondered what it meant. I knelt the next morning, as usual, but could say nothing, and then an awe too great for expression came over me, — something that Mrs. Eddy terms an intuition, and from that time on I was led, little by little, to understand the invisible God. As this fact gradually unfolded to me, I let go of my odl concept, or rather it was tenderly taken from me, and a new realization took its place.

I seemed to be getting weaker physically and losing control of my faculties to think, eat, or talk, only as words were given me to say; but my friends would shake their heads and look their pity for me, when I assured them I should not die. I became very weak and to mortal sense death seemed near, but one morning this invisible power led me to rise and open the Bible, and I saw from what I read that it meant I was to serve, and not be served any longer. I lay down again, not comprehending all its meaning, but presently I was led to the door, and as I opened it and drank in the cold wind as it swept over the Dakota prairie, I seemed to take a new lease of life. I turned toward the bed, but instead was directed to the kitchen. We had been unable to keep help because of the fear of my illness, but when my husband came home I had a dinner prepared. I stood by the table as he opened the door, and as he caught sight of me, he cried out my name and I saw him turn white and sink into a chair, cover his face with his hands, and weep as only a strong man can weep. He afterward told me he thought I had died, and that it was my spirit, till I spoke to him. From that time on I labored for my family, and there was much to do.

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