Friends. Do you feel you need better or truer or more lasting friendship? When I was in middle school, I felt this way. I really didn't know how to deal with kids at school who were sometimes unkind, or how to make new friendships that would be worthwhile. I didn't even like going to school, because I knew I wasn't popular.

I felt pretty desperate, so I looked to God for direction. I asked Him what I needed to know and do in order to improve the situation. As a result of this prayer, I came to feel that I needed a sort of "spiritual makeover"—I needed to better understand God and my relation to Him. Part of my efforts involved studying the Bible and Science and Health. I also participated in a Sunday School class every week where I asked lots of questions. I wanted to understand how to get my thinking and my actions in line with the great and good power of God so that I could be blessed by it.

The first helpful thing I learned was that I could always count on God, Love, to be my friend. Take a look at this great promise I found in the Bible: "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness" (Isa. 41:10). This is the perfect friend!

Next, I saw that because God is my creator, He has given me (and everyone else) the ability to express His qualities and attributes. Not only has God created us all with this ability, but He sticks with us and governs us so we can put this wonderful power into practice. I learned that I could feel the power of God in my life and respond to it by expressing His love toward all—my friends and myself. This would bring more harmony into my life. Christ Jesus told us what to do when he commanded, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself" (Matt. 22:39).

But, how do you love your neighbors if they seem so concerned with being cool that they are mean to the kids who aren't "popular"? How do you respond if you aren't being included? How do you love yourself if it seems that no one even likes you? These were my questions.

My Sunday School teachers explained that it is always possible to love others and ourselves in a pure, spiritual way. We don't have to love human shortcomings or unkind actions, but we do have to separate these from the individual and love him or her. We can do this because we can perceive and love the good, Godlike qualities each person expresses. Everyone has good qualities because these are given by God to each of His children. We need to look for the man that God makes without exception, and then love that spiritual man. Christ Jesus did this. He loved his enemies and told us, his followers, to do the same.

As I embraced this line of reasoning, I soon found that it became easier to be loving and confident. I didn't feel the need to criticize or gossip, or to chase boys or try to impress the other girls. I stopped thinking of myself as someone who was not very lovable. I identified myself as God's perfect creation—loved, lovable, and loving. I saw that I could express love to my school friends by doing my best to express God. I concentrated on doing this instead of feeling sorry for myself. I worked to find at least one good quality (a Godlike quality) in every person I met, and to love that. And I made myself a rule that I would not talk about people behind their backs, even if they had criticized me or treated me badly.

These efforts required persistence. I learned not to worry about what other people thought of me, but to be concerned that my own thinking and actions were pleasing to God. I worked to express God's goodness by being kind and helpful whenever I could, and to look for good in others even when it wasn't easy. Soon I found I was making new friends. My new friends weren't usually the most popular kids in school, but they were all fun to be with. I felt happy about friends and school again.

After about a year of this active loving of my neighbor and myself (as I said, it required persistence!), I was elected to the student council. At that point, I realized that something had changed. It seemed that quite a few of my fellow students not only liked me, but they trusted me to be someone who would contribute good to our school.

I didn't suddenly become a popularity contest winner, but that didn't disappoint me —being popular was not my goal. My new goal was to express God's love to all. For the remainder of my time in middle school, high school, and college, I found it normal and natural to make friends. In college, the other girls in my dormitory selected me for an honor because they felt I did the best job of being a friend to all.

What did I learn from this experience? I learned that people will respond with real friendship when you honestly make the effort to recognize the God-created and God-governed good that is within them and to love that good. I learned I had goodness within me that I could express to others. I learned that God is always with me, being my friend, giving me good and pure thoughts, guiding me, and caring for me. And, I learned I could feel happy about my friendships with others through my friendship with God.