Article September 3, 2001 Issue

The power of forgiveness

By Elise L. Moore

When it comes to forgiving others, sometimes we rebel. Why should I be the one to forgive the relative who hurt me, or the boss who dismissed my obviously great ideas, or the co-worker who undermined me, or the inconsiderate neighbor? Didn't they commit the wrong? I'll forgive them when they change, or stop hurting me —or ask for forgiveness!

But they aren't the ones stewing about the situation. They aren't hurt or offended in the least. We're the ones who want to feel free mentally and emotionally. That's why we should forgive. We don't need to suffer for another person's anger or misunderstanding or selfishness. Ultimately the decision becomes, "Who's in charge of my thoughts and emotions? Somebody else or me?" I don't need to wait for someone else to change before I stop feeling miserable. I can cease feeling resentment at any point.

To forgive, in the Greek, means "to let go." It benefits me to let go of hurt feelings and resentment. To hold on to unintentional or intentional hurts will only impede my own progress. But forgiveness isn't just in the words. It's in the heart. I know a woman who took Jesus' instruction to Peter that he forgive "seventy times seven" (Matt. 18:22) literally. She wrote 490 times on sheets of paper "I forgive so-and-so." But it didn't change her heart. In fact, she felt increased justification for harboring bitterness, since she felt she had obeyed Jesus. It's not the words or obeying the letter of the moral law, but the spirit of Christ that enables us to deeply and permanently forgive.

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