Article January 1, 2000 ISSUE

Q&A

Suzanne Smedley, Mark Unger with contributions from M.B., A.R., Wondering, Lonely

ASK SUZANNE...

My schedule is filled with going to school, doing sports, and hanging out with friends. I would really like to have time to pray more often and to go to church, but it just doesn't work out. How can I change that without giving up my other activities?

M.B. – Germany

It's great to have such a full life with friends and activities. Sometimes, though, it means having to make some choices, especially if you want more time for spiritual reflection. We all usually find time to do what is most important to us—no matter what. One more hour of sleep, or time for prayer? Jesus taught his friends about priorities. He said, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you (Matt. 6:33 ). It may seem that you'll lose out on something if you follow this advice. But be prepared for awesome things to happen when you love God enough to make Him/Her your first priority.

At religion club in school, we have discussed homosexuality on several occasions. How can I look at this from a spiritual point of view?

A.R.– USA

If the members of your club are approaching this from a spiritual perspective, then God is at the heart of the issue. And that's good. Rather than getting into a discussion or debate about homosexuality (which can turn into a self-righteousness fest), it's best to let God guide the feelings and actions of other people, as well as yourself. With hate crimes against gay men and women on the rise, each of you has a big contribution to make toward healing prejudice and discrimination—against both the gay and straight communities—both at school and at home.

ASK MARK...

What's wrong with premarital sex with someone you love or feel committed to? How does a piece of paper make a difference?

Wondering – USA

If you love someone and are committed to a relationship, you don't want to spoil it. I, too, thought marriage wasn't much more than a piece of paper, until my marriage took place. It hit me pretty hard what a serious and real life commitment this was. You don't feel the same after marriage. It gives you a safe, close, and physically intimate relationship that you simply do not have without it.

I know from experience that there is something wonderful that will make you feel closer to each other, than having sex ever could. It's a pure, honest, spiritually based love. Mostly, this means appreciating the spiritual things about your friend. The affection, trust and respect from this true love will give you a high like none other on earth.

There's a girl at school I really like, but I'm afraid she'll reject me if I ask her out. What should I do?

Lonely – USA

When you know that God loves you, it doesn't matter what people do or say to you. You can feel God's love by expressing love to other people and thinking about them more than about yourself. It would be loving, and even a compliment, to let this girl know you want to get to know her. Whatever happens, you have taken a step forward in your confidence. You'll feel good about having touched someone's life in a positive way. There is a great idea that's helped me many times: “Human affection is not poured forth vainly, even though it meet no return” (Science and Health, p. 57 )

Suzanne Smedley is Teen Editor of The Herald of Christian Science. Mark Unger is Senior Producer of the Bible Lessons in English for TV and radio.

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