RELATIONSHIPS January 1, 1999 Issue

Can I be accepted for who I am?

Quinci Coates

Each of us wants to be accepted for who we are, without condition. Then we feel valued, important. We feel we're contributing to society. Often though, people base acceptance on body shape, gender, religion, neighborhood.

But do you have to change who you are in order to be accepted? Sometimes, in the name of “love,” families try to mold us into their ideal of who we should be. And we feel pressured to conform. That's what happened to me.

I felt lonely in school. I didn't fit into any of the social groups. My parents thought something was wrong because I wasn't as socially active as they had been in school. They rejected my personal appearance and demanded that I change. That made me pretty upset and even more lonely, I longed for acceptance, but conforming to something that wasn't “me” seemed superficial. I desperately wanted another option.

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