Testimony of Healing June 8, 1912 Issue

Christian Science has helped me so often and in so many...

Marguerite Marie Deutschendorff with contributions from Mary C. Deutschendorff

Christian Science has helped me so often and in so many ways that I could not, without taking up too much space, relate all it has done for me. I did not come to Christian Science for physical healing, although at the time it was presented to me I was suffering day and night from a severe liver complaint for which the doctors could give me no further help. I had seemed to be relieved for a time, but as I was unable to retain food it seemed as if I could not live very long. This did not trouble me, however, as I always felt so miserable that I did not care to live. The misery and suffering which I saw everywhere around me and the apparent impossibility of ever knowing the truth about anything seemed an unbearable obsession, and I had no religious faith to comfort me.

As a small child, when the concept of a God who sends trials and punishment was presented to me, I promised to myself that I would never obey or serve that God; and soon after, hearing that there were people who did not believe in God, I thought I would be one of them, as it was easy to admit the hypothesis that the Bible was a work of fiction. This did not prevent me from having a great longing for the beautiful, the good, and the true, which later on made me turn again to religion and try desperately to reconcile reason and revelation; but my attempts were vain. How could the omnipotent God of love for which my soul was longing, tolerate evil and suffering? Why did He create us imperfect? There seemed to be but one answer to these questions: that there was no omnipotent God, only an imperfect universe, evolved by chance and hastening toward annihilation; and yet, whence came the human longing for something higher and better? I did not wish for health or even deliverance from suffering, but my whole thought was, If there is truth anywhere, may I have it, however painful its revelations may be; even if it confirms the dread fear that death and annihilation end all? Let me know that which is!

The came Christian Science, and I now know that that which is, is Life, Love, health, joy unspeakable. The revelation came in a very simple and natural way. A friend who was living in Switzerland, and who did not know how ill I was, but who knew that I was mentally wretched, asked if I would like something to read. I wrote and said I would, and soon after I received "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs. Eddy. Seeing it was a book based on the Bible, in which I had completely ceased to believe, I was much disappointed; however, for the sake of my friend I resolved to read it, with the result that my critical attitude of mind soon vanished. It was replaced by the joy of finding at last the one true God, Love, whose creation is as perfect as He is perfect; it was like being brought from dismal darkness into light. Of course I knew that if the teachings of Science and Health were true, my illness was not real and could not trouble me any more, and I gave it no thought whatever, but as soon as I was convinced of the truth I began to eat whatever was set before me, feeling no longer any ill effects. My healing was not instantaneous, but as I continued to read the book I got steadily better, and in about three weeks was in a perfectly normal state of health and happier than I had ever been before. This was several years ago. Ever since, I can say that I have been well and strong and have never stayed one day in bed for illness, although since childhood I had always been weak and ailing, never free from aches and pains, never able to eat what other people did.

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