FREE TO MOVE ON, FREE FROM PAIN

KAY KEELOR

There was a time when everything in my life seemed to be in a state of flux because of my upcoming divorce. As I prayed for guidance, I remembered this passage from Science and Health, which includes two statements from the Bible: "'Work out your own salvation,' is the demand of Life and Love, for to this end God worketh with you. 'Occupy till I come!'" (p. 22).

I looked up occupy in the dictionary, and its meaning was very different from what I had expected. Far from being passive—just waiting until a situation changed or improved—the verb demanded action of thought. One definition was "to take possession of, employ; to engage the attention or energies of; to fill up."

So I concentrated on filling my thought with what was spiritually true. The truth was that my life had not ended, because my marriage was ending. Nor was I cut off from good. It became crystal clear to me that I could trust God for His continuous unfoldment of good, and that I was perpetually blessed by my relationship with God. I was being called upon by God to express all the qualities of His/Her goodness now, to occupy and engage my life in service to God; to love others and take possession of all the good that is enduring to all of His creation. I was finding that I didn't need to disengage from life, but, instead, to live life to the fullest.

This prayer liberated me from the misery I felt, and I was free to move ahead with my life. I have been learning that good can't be postponed, and that happiness is not dependent on situations or persons. That God, who is good alone, owns our momentts, our life, eternally. For that truth, we can all be so thankful.

I found this out again on a recent road trip with my son, Christian, to check out a boarding school in another state. We were both very excited about the prospects of this new school for Christian.

On the way, however, I developed a severe headache. It was so bad that I felt I might have to pull my car over and rest somewhere. Suddenly, a quote from the Bible rang clear and true in my thought: "Beloved, now are we the sons of God" (I John 3:2). Of course, this statement includes me, as God's daughter, too. But the word now had special significance to me when I desperately needed healing of this headache.

I thought that if I was the expression of God, as I knew was true from my study of the Bible and Science and Health, then I didn't have to suffer even for a moment from a debilitating headache. In fact, I knew that I could experience healing right then. "When the destination is desirable, expectation speeds our progress," Mrs. Eddy wrote assuringly (Science and Health, p. 426). But expectation of a joyous arrival at the school didn't exclude me from joy in the present. Of course I was God's daughter right then, and didn't have to wait to have all the good God provides every moment.

The "nearness and nowness" of God's Christ is potent to break any chains of stress or anxiety.

My son was aware of my struggle, so we prayed out loud with "the scientific statement of being." It begins, "There is no life, truth, intelligence, nor substance in matter" (ibid., p. 468). Therefore, I thought, matter could not dictate to me a painful condition, because matter has no life or intelligence.

This statement goes on to say, "All is infinite Mind and its infinite manifestation, for God is All-in-all." We are that manifestation of perfect Mind, perfect God. Divine Mind doesn't experience pain, so I couldn't either, because I manifest all the qualities of God. That meant I expressed joy, expectancy, calm, peace, health, happiness. And I expressed those qualities consistently, without wavering. I was abiding steadfastly in the law of Love, another name for God. Love was comforting, healing, uplifting, guiding my actions. This trip was governed by God. In fact, my whole life—and my son's—was under God's loving control. Nothing could intrude on my happiness, or my son's, because happiness is God-given, spontaneous, lasting, and permanent.

I found myself quietly singing the first line from a hymn I know: "This is the day the Lord hath made; / Be glad, give thanks, rejoice." The third verse goes on to say:

For sin destroyed, for sorrow healed,
For health and peace restored;
For life and Love by Truth revealed,
We thank and bless the Lord.

(Laura Lee Randall, Christian Science Hymnal, No. 342)

I realized that right then—right there in the car—I was the complete and perfect daughter of God, who was, thankfully, my Father and Mother. I rejoiced that I was blessed by God beyond measure. I did pull over to a rest area. But as I walked and prayed, I could feel the tension and pain fade completely. I was healed right then.

I hopped back into the car with renewed energy, and with such a feeling of calm. The remainder of the trip was full of happy talk about everything around us. I was expectant, and satisfied in the moment. No cares, no worries, no pain. The healing presence of God was enough.

KAY KEELOR
FLINT, MICHIGAN

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