Article June 5, 2000 Issue

Has the spark gone out of your marriage?

How to refresh a relationship

By Joan Sieber Ware

We had shared much joy and weathered many storms in our twenty-eight year marriage, but right now it felt to me like work—like we were stuck in the doldrums. Our regular routines seemed boring, and I wanted a deeper level of communication. I thought our marriage could use a fresh breath of spring—a new spark.

Over the years, in working out different marriage challenges, one of the spiritual texts I have often turned to for guidance is a chapter on marriage in the book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. I have found this chapter to be a timeless marriage manual that can help anyone establish, reestablish, stabilize, or renew his or her marriage. It speaks heart to heart to any receptive listener.

One sentence I now pondered was, "Husbands and wives should never separate if there is no Christian demand for it" (p. 66). It seemed to me that never separating would include not allowing indifference, apathy, or distance to come between the partners. If there is no Christian demand to get a divorce, I reasoned, then there must be a Christian demand not only to stay married but to stay delightfully close. I felt anything less should be challenged and healed. I needed to fall closely in love with my husband over and over again, but always in new, fresh ways.

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