Article July 6, 1998 Issue

Travelers on the road to spiritual understanding

Seeking meaning in one's life: a surer find than the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

Reported by Rosalie E. Dunbar

All of us hope that our lives have meaning—that despite the stumbles, mistakes, and failures, there is a larger purpose to our existence. The degree of meaning we find in life may vary at different stages. And there are times when events bring us face to face with our doubts and fears—when something inside us cries out for specific direction, for a feeling that although there may be a lot of evidence to the contrary, there is a loving intelligence at the heart of the universe. From that standpoint, the search for meaning often becomes a search for God and for some conviction that divinity does in fact embrace humanity.

But the quest doesn't always begin this way. When Steve Scheiern left home, he soon was drawn into a fast-paced lifestyle that would ultimately alienate him from his family. Besides excessive drinking and smoking, Steve used illegal drugs from time to time and also was unfaithful to his wife.

"I felt I had been good my whole life and had been deprived of the fun my friends had had, and I had serious catching up to do," Steve says. This attitude, and the behavior that went with it, finally led him and his wife to separate. Later, his wife informed him that she was pregnant with their first child. The news infuriated him. He reacted by speaking to her in a hateful way, but then felt he "had destroyed every ounce of emotion, respect, and love that my wife could have left for me." In an angry frenzy, he headed for a liquor store, took his purchases to his new quarters, and drank until he passed out.

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