Much has been said about the contemporary woman's multiple roles—wife, mother, homemaker, employer or employee, and volunteer. To identify womanhood in terms of quantity of roles, size of family, income, or physical characteristics ignores the real essence of womanhood. So what does it mean to be a woman?

Two women among the friends of Christ Jesus are helpful to consider. Martha and Mary were sisters, and their brother was Lazarus, whom Jesus had raised from death four days after he had been buried. At a different time, when Jesus came to their home to visit, Martha complained because Mary was not helping her prepare the meal. Mary had stopped to listen to Jesus teach. Jesus' response was particularly surprising, given the customs and expectations of women at that time. He said, "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: but one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:41, 42).

It is likely that Jesus was not advocating abandoning domestic responsibilities. Rather, that all activities should grow from this spiritual base: from a desire to love and obey God, divine Love. Since Love is the source of joy, strength, satisfaction, consider this question: Even if I accomplish all my tasks and am dubbed "superwoman," what is the cost of leaving God out of my life?

"For right reasoning there should be but one fact before the thought, namely, spiritual existence," writes Mary Baker Eddy in Science and Health (p. 492). To reason rightly about womanhood is to acknowledge that God is the Father-Mother of all creation. The identity of true manhood and womanhood is entirely dependent on God. That identity is God's reflection, the immortal evidence that God exists. Divine Love is manifested in grace, gentleness, patience, purity, holiness. These are the strength of womanhood and manhood. Understanding this replaces self-righteousness with humility, self-justification with charity, and worry with a confidence in God's care for each of His children.

Sometimes the need is to change our indicators of success. For instance, a woman was faced with the various demands of a professional career and of being a wife, stepmother, church and community volunteer, and daughter. She found little time to do things she felt were most important. Although she was well recognized for her success in business, and observers frequently commented on her balance, commitment, and ability to accomplish so much, she was not satisfied. Turning to God for help, she read the story of Martha and Mary. She was a very good Martha! She realized that the emptiness she felt could be filled if she could also be more like Mary. But how?

She started by dropping a false idealism, an acceptance of herself as a mortal with specific characteristics or behaviors—good or bad. She had accepted as desirable the ways in which tradition, a favorite book, a television program, or a cosmetics advertisement depicted womanhood. So, through prayer and regular study of the Sermon on the Mount, she sought to practice what she was learning of her true nature by bringing her ambitions and aspirations into greater conformity with divine Love and not a personal or sensual selfhood. She needed to be willing to give up anything that was merely a personal, prideful characteristic or deeply held opinion. Her measure of womanhood became to choose the "good part," that which demonstrated more of her spiritual identity as the reflection of God, divine Truth, invariable Love, unchanging Principle.

The result was that she saw more ways to free herself from self-imposed restrictions. She learned there is a difference between overcommitting and doing that which is needed. Her aim was not simply to have more time or to be more at ease in material or sensual pursuits. These hinder spiritual growth. Instead, she sought more diligently to glorify God. As she gave up human will and yielded to divine Love, her life took on new order.

She found better ways to do things that had been time-consuming. The dropping of some other activities provided time to devote to more prayer, study, and church work. Gradually, her entire life centered on different demands. God had not withheld anything good. Instead, her desires had been enriched.

Identifying herself as the child of God, responsible only to the demands of divine Love, brought an inner peace and confidence more satisfying than the worldly awards and accolades she had collected. Fear of the future for herself and her family was gone.

The change in attitude toward her husband and other men was an unexpected benefit in this spiritual growth. She became more alert not to accept such stereotypes as "husbands who don't help" and "don't understand." Willingness to acknowledge that the individual ways in which the men she observed were serving God were just as valid, just as important to God as anything she did, opened new ways to accomplish required tasks. She found greater opportunity to share tasks with others, including her husband and those who worked for her.

The question of what constitutes true womanhood is essential for men to consider, too. What expectations do men have of their wife? daughter? mother? co-worker or employee? Do they value and support in themselves, as well as in women, the Mary-like qualities? Do they see qualities traditionally identified as feminine as also essential to the completeness of true manhood? "But one thing is needful." Each of us must choose "that good part." When we are seeking to glorify God, to happify existence through greater service to God expressed in grace, unselfed love, humility, and honesty, our desires are rewarded.