Before becoming an active Christian Scientist, despite having...

Before becoming an active Christian Scientist, despite having attended Sunday School, I had many wandering years. After I had medical surgery, my doctor explained that I would have to take medication for the rest of my life.

Later I awoke to God as divine Love, my Father-Mother, and it seemed natural to rely on Him as my Physician, and thus to be free of drugs. One day I dumped all my pills down the toilet. Then during the next week I found myself edgy and fearful, watching for the predicted effects of not taking the medication. As I prayed to understand more of God's omnipotent care, in an effort to find release from this fear, the thought came strongly "not defiance ... reliance!" I realized on the spot that I was harboring a smug, "I'll show them" attitude toward medical methods and opinions. This was not right. My fear vanished, and I did not find consequences, but rather healing, from my decision to rely on God for my health. I also gained an important love and respect for those who may choose to rely on or administer other means for healing, even though this is not my personal choice.

April 10, 1995

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