The gentle expression of concern, the loving offer of support, or even the giving of an opinion when we're asked for it are certainly all part of being active Christians. But knowing everyone's personal business, interfering in other people's lives, gossiping, thinking hatefully or negatively about others, all fall into the category of not minding our own business. And that kind of interference points to our own attempt, in some degree, to try to work out others' life experiences and salvation for them, to try to save them from learning an important or time-consuming lesson, or even to try to force on someone the lesson we think is needed. On the surface, such interference can seem based on Christian love and concern. But too often it may be the result of boredom, self-indulgence, impatience, or a sense of being wronged.

How do we discern between genuinely loving concern and personal interference? An honest assessment of our motive is vital. I've found that "A Rule for Motives and Acts" in the Manual of The Mother Church gives me a wonderful standard for judging. There Mrs. Eddy writes: "Neither animosity nor mere personal attachment should impel the motives or acts of the members of The Mother Church. In Science, divine Love alone governs man; and a Christian Scientist reflects the sweet amenities of Love, in rebuking sin, in true brotherliness, charitableness, and forgiveness. The members of this Church should daily watch and pray to be delivered from all evil, from prophesying, judging, condemning, counseling, influencing or being influenced erroneously." ^{Man., Art. VIII, Sect. 1.}

We need, then, to do more than just be considerate and not impose. We need to grapple actively with sin in our own thought and exercise the love and forgiveness that can only flow from the fount of God, divine Love.

This was part of an important lesson I learned a few years ago. I worked with someone who was unprofessional and often unethical. Many people, including me, were being unfairly dealt with, lied to, and treated disrespectfully. Even after I left the company, I frequently spent time talking with friends and co-workers about this person's activities, personal problems, and incompetence in the workplace. The more I talked and commiserated with others about these things, the worse I felt.

Finally I woke up to the fact that my behavior wasn't productive. To have any beneficial impact on the situation, I was going to have to change both my thinking and my actions. I had to free myself from this habit of mulling over another's conduct. These words of Micah quite accurately describe what seemed necessary for me to do to gain a sense of peace and love: "And what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" ^{Mic. 6:8.} I began turning to God more deeply and with a greater willingness to see God's will be done. I gained humility. And along with this humility came the recognition that self-righteousness had been preventing me from fully understanding man's true, spiritual identity.

I knew that in reality each individual is created and maintained as the perfect, loving, and loved child of God and must, therefore, be innocent. But the self-righteous attitude had me believing that one person (my former co-worker) could be unjust, selfish, even cruel, while another person (me) was good, innocent, and a helpless victim. This is impossible in God's complete and perfect creation!

As I came to see what a destructive sin self-righteousness can be, I began to assess my own thoughts and treatment of this person more honestly. I was not being just! The gossip, hatred, vengeance, and arrogance that had been dominating my thought brought me mentally to my knees, asking God for forgiveness for these sins. I recalled Christ Jesus' admonition "Judge not, that ye be not judged." ^{Matt. 7:1.} As the tears of repentance washed away the scum of this self-righteousness, my innate, God-given innocence began to be revealed. And I also glimpsed the true, spiritual innocence of my former co-worker as well.

A keener awareness of and love for mercy began to grow in my thought. If I needed God's mercy and forgiveness so badly, surely I could love to be merciful and forgiving. Even though this person did not appear to be ready to reform, I could still do my part. It was not for me to force change—only to love another as I loved myself, as God's innocent child.

I saw that true justice is carried out between each individual and God—not a God capable of vengeance but a God who is infinite Love, Love that keeps its loved child safe and pure. Mrs. Eddy speaks from her own experience with unjust persecution when she counsels, "If you have been badly wronged, forgive and forget: God will recompense this wrong, and punish, more severely than you could, him who has striven to injure you." ^{Miscellaneous Writings, p. 12.}

Divine justice purifies individual motives and acts. This purification process is a highly intimate, individual matter. No one can do it for us, nor can we do it for anyone else. It must be the result of each person's own willingness to reform. Often the degree of willingness is determined by the amount of suffering we experience as a result of sin. Mrs. Eddy writes, "Some people never repent until earth gives them such a cup of gall that conscience strikes home; then they are brought to realize how impossible it is to sin and not suffer." ^{Ibid., p. 237.}

And when we yield to divine justice, we're free from the temptation to interfere with others. What a joy it is to know that we are all free to work out life's challenges at our own pace and in our own way, and that each individual has the privilege and intimacy of his own relationship to God. Recognizing this unique, inseparable relationship, we can rest assured that any desire we may have to help someone will not come out of a sense of impatience, criticism, or resentment, but will be accompanied only by humility, love, justice, and mercy. What freedom!