I was in a hurry—mostly because I had my worst exam coming up (economics) and partly because everyone else was in a hurry. The preexam jitters had already hit the campus and, like everyone else, I was anxious to hurry with lunch and get back to my studying.

It's funny how mesmeric exam tension can be. The whole Campus sort of stretches, as if it were going into its last lap. You can't get away from the sounds of typewriters, and people don't usually stop and talk much. If you don't go into a spin about four weeks before exams, something's supposed to be wrong with you!

I grabbed a tray and a glass, poured myself some milk, and took the nearest sandwich. It wasn't hard to find the kids from my dorm —they had a place waiting for me, right down at the end of the table. They were all juniors and seniors, all driving hard in that last final push for freedom. The hall was so smoky that you could barely see the girls at the other end of the room.

Everyone was smoking. A lot of people smoked almost continually. They said it helped calm the preexam jitters.

They were talking about it when I sat down.

"It's a great outlet for nervous tension," a psychology major stated matter-of-factly. "Everyone has nerves, and everybody has to have some sort of an outlet. Smoking is mine."

And, with a big grin, she turned to me and said: "So, what's your outlet? And, by the way, how come you don't smoke?"

Everybody turned and looked.

I tried to think quickly. Tina knew I was a Christian Scientist. What did she want to do—start a big talk about religion? I'm proud to be a Christian Scientist—but saying that in front of all those kids was something else again.

"Well," I said to everybody—because everybody was waiting— "I guess I just don't like to smoke."

"Then you never tried it."

"Yes, I did." (I had, once, in junior high.)

But now I was getting uneasy. Somehow I was weaseling out of the real issue. I wasn't really being honest. Although it's true that I don't like to smoke, the real reason I don't is because I simply do not believe that there is anything good in it.

While the kids went on talking—realizing that nothing more was coming from me for the moment—I stopped to think. I remembered that Christian Science is the Science of psychology (see Miscellaneous Writings by Mrs. Eddy, p. 3). If that was so, I reasoned, then there must be a spiritually scientific fact that could be meaningful to a psych major who thought smoking was an outlet for nervous tension.

I knew that man was much more than just a bundle of nerves surrounded by flesh and bones. As funny as it might seem to others, I was convinced that the only reliable view of man was the spiritual.

"Mind" was a word used for speaking of God by Biblical writers. Mrs. Eddy had capitalized Mind when she included it in her synonyms for God. And I had accepted divine Mind as the only logical source of intelligence.

After all, can intelligence really come from brain lobes? Can matter produce an idea? And besides, once you've really felt guided by Mind, you know that Mind exists. It's as simple as that. Christ Jesus must have known Mind, or how could he have been so perceptive? Or how could he have been so profound that we quote him —and follow him—2,000 years later? Suddenly—almost as if Mind spoke—I had my answer. A break in the conversation came, and I leapt in.

"I guess I just don't think man needs an outlet for nervous tension. Smoking just makes you think you feel better about being nervous. Sort of placates your feelings for a while. But it doesn't solve the problem of being nervous. Besides, smoking is just an indulgence of oral pleasure. People think they enjoy smoking, and then it becomes a crutch. They let one supposed physical need try to solve another supposed physical need.

"I guess I just try to avoid getting wound up in an endless search for pleasure in matter. My life is complicated enough without becoming dependent on a little white stick."

Silence sort of grabbed them. You could almost see them think! No one had put it to them like that before.

Then the firing squad took over.

One by one they tried to smash my arguments. I wished I had kept quiet. One of the girls even went so far as to point out that kissing was oral indulgence, and who ever thought of going through life without that!

But I stuck with it. There was only one conclusion. If kissing was only an oral indulgence, and only the act of fulfilling an oral need— and nothing more—then in the last analysis people didn't really need that either!

This last point really brought down the house. They laughed and got up to go. One of the girls told me to grow up a little—I'd soon learn differently!

The whole scene made me miserable. I couldn't face studying. It didn't seem fair that my honesty could backfire like that.

As I look back on the whole thing now, I remember what Mrs. Eddy says about honesty in Miscellaneous Writings: "Christian Scientists have a strong race to run, and foes in ambush; but bear in mind that, in the long race, honesty always defeats dishonesty." ^{Mis., p. 126;}

At that time I didn't feel so sure, and I got out my books, the Bible and Mrs. Eddy's writings, plus Concordances, resolving to find my spiritual peace about the whole thing then and there. I looked up everything I could find on nerves, nervous, system, tension, as well as peace and calm.

I really dug in, feeling close to God and forgetting time and school and exams. Gradually a loosening up took place. My shoulders started to relax. "Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace," ^{Job 22:21;} it says in Job.

In Science and Health I found these lines: "Nerves are an element of the belief that there is sensation in matter, whereas matter is devoid of sensation. Consciousness, as well as action, is governed by Mind,—is in God, the origin and governor of all that Science reveals." ^{Science and Health, p. 480.}

The facts of the matter are that matter isn't. It doesn't have authority. It doesn't have control. It doesn't have Mind.

Mind is—and Mind is All. And this Mind is divine—has unquestioned control over all the systems of the spiritual universe. Because this Mind made me, I retain the rights to conscious intelligence and conscious, ordered peace. Only intelligence can maintain peace— and intelligence isn't centered in nerves, tobacco, or any form of mindless matter.

As I reviewed these spiritual facts, I saw how they applied to the healing of all tension. I forgot about feeling ridiculed for standing up as a Christian Scientist, and I went on to my economics. In fact, I was at such peace studying that I forgot to go to dinner.

Late in the night a knock on the door broke the quiet. It was the psychology major. "I've been doing a lot of thinking," she began. "You sure look at things differently than I do. I'd really like to know more. You really have something if you can get along without smoking."

We talked for a long time. I had the joy of fielding a lot of questions about Christian Science that night because just as she left one of the other girls dropped by—"just to talk." She wanted to know how I could have such dominion in life. Then when she left, someone else turned up! She said she secretly admired my views. Could she come to church someday?

By three a.m. every single one of the girls who'd been at the table had come in "just to talk." I'll never forget what I learned that day about the power of Truth to heal and the attraction it holds for those who long to feel, really feel, the peace of God's love.

By the way, I passed the economics exam, too.