Testimony of Healing May 30, 1908 Issue

When I think what I was prior to my small understanding...

Velma Brown

When I think what I was prior to my small understanding of Christian Science, and what I am to-day because of it, I cannot be too thankful that this great light was rekindled in the day in which I live. Less than two years ago, although at the age when life should have been the most alluring, I had no desire whatever for it. I considered myself sorely afflicted of God, and while trying to convince myself that it was all for the best, I found that in my innermost heart I was beginning to doubt God's love and mercy for all His children. I searched the Scriptures for some proof of my belief, and seemed to find many passages which justified my mordid mortal belief that some are predestined to an eternity without God, and that I was one of them.

Then I ceased to pray that I might die, for I was afraid of death, and my constant prayer became, "Lord, let me live only long enough to be led back to the fold of the good shepherd." My poor prayer has been abundantly answered, but in God's way, not mine. When I learned that God is my Life, I had no further desire for death; that God is Love, and therefore does not send sorrow upon His children, I could never again doubt His tender mercies. But by and by I learned a truth more healing than all the rest. The sorrow I had been so carefully and tenderly nursing was only an illusion which Christ, Truth, had destroyed. For all reality is spiritual, and there is no power on earth able to take from me one infinitesimal part of my being as God's child.

I write this with the hope that perhaps some other struggling mortal, young in solar years but old in seemingly blasted hopes, may read it and take courage. The Christ is here to-day just as much as he was nineteen hundred years ago, and he still is entreating: "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ... For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."—Velma Brown, Olathe, Kan.

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