Article February 5, 2001 Issue

Not seeing eye to eye?

The voice over the phone said, "You are here to love this child."

By Donna Haynes

One of our daughters and I were having a huge disagreement. Things were getting out of control, and I didn't like feeling angry.

More important, I didn't like acting in a way so contrary to the way God would have me act. But my daughter and I seemed trapped in a maze of reactionary thinking.

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Finally, in a moment of extreme frustration, I turned away from the whole conflict to God. Silent, I pleaded for help.

From the moment I did this, I felt different about our relationship.

"Show me, Father-Mother, the real Parent and real child in this relationship," I prayed. God is the divine Parent, and we are all His dearly loved children. There's a law of love that He makes which keeps harmony in His family. Conflict is not more powerful than the peace ever present in God's creation.

I called a friend and asked for help. The voice over the telephone calmly reminded me, "You are here to love this child!"

With that, my heart melted. My anger was silenced. A feeling of betrayal gave way to a feeling that God's pure love was alive in this situation. The conflict suddenly seemed unimportant. I was here to love my daughter—end of story.

And that's exactly what I committed to doing in every aspect of our relationship.

In trying times like that one, this promise from Jesus offers great comfort: "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matt. 11:29, 30). In ancient times, a yoke symbolized servitude or bondage. Anger, bitterness, resentment, feelings of betrayal, and the like are all forms of bondage.

On the other hand, I think of the mental discipline of keeping one's thinking in line with God as the "easy" yoke that Jesus referred to. God shows us our own and others' perfect, spiritual nature, along with everyone's indestructible relation to Him. Keeping your thoughts in line with this divine message frees you from bondage to anger, resentment. That's why this yoke is not burdensome, but rather makes our own burdens light.

One of Jesus' most ardent followers was Paul, who urged people to "compel every human thought to surrender in obedience to Christ" (II Cor. 10:5). You could say "surrender in obedience to the truth about how God made us." It was my own, not my daughter's, thinking that I needed to bring "in obedience to Christ." I had to make my motives and aims truer, more spiritual, more indicative of God and His good creation. We all can do this, because each of us is actually made to express the nature of God.

Right where the disagreement with my daughter was taking place, I had the opportunity to see that she was God's dearly loved child. From the moment I did this, I felt different about our relationship. We often still had differing views of things. But increasingly, when we disagreed, it was with an underlying affection and a growing respect for each other.

Love lifted the burden of conflict and reestablished joy and good humor in our relationship. God is Love. And God can be found maintaining every aspect of creation in harmony and unity.

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