You’re never really alone
Growing up, I felt I didn’t fit in with certain groups at school and in dance class. I always seemed to be the person who was on her own, and I had a hard time making friends. Often, I came home from school crying and frustrated that I seemed so different from everyone else and felt so alone.
Even when I was surrounded by people who I knew loved me, I still felt lonely. I continued to question why people even talked to me. I tried to push down these feelings by spending many hours watching TV, occupying my time scrolling through social media on my phone, and comparing myself to others. But rather than making me feel better, this left me with a more profound sadness.
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I grew up attending Christian Science Sunday School and had witnessed the healings my parents and older brother experienced when they turned to Christian Science for physical and mental challenges. But it wasn’t until the summer after my sophomore year of high school, when I was at a summer camp for Christian Scientists, that I thought about praying about these endless feelings of loneliness and depression.
Even when I was surrounded by people who I knew loved me, I still felt lonely.
At camp, we were asked to go out on a “solo,” which is several hours alone in the woods being quiet, praying, and writing your future self a letter. When I’d done this during the previous summer, I hadn’t taken advantage of the time I’d had out there. However, this second time around, I was determined to make the most of the opportunity.
As I was sitting in the woods during my solo, I looked up into the tree canopy and noticed two trees with interlocking branches. Then, the wind blew, and they swayed apart. The wind blew again, and they came back together. As I spent several minutes staring at those trees, the thought came to me that this is kind of an analogy for my relationship with God and how we are never actually alone.
The Bible teaches that God created us in His image and likeness (see Genesis 1:26, 27). This means that we, as God’s children, reflect Him. So even when we may feel like we’re not close to God, we still are because we express what God is. We are God’s qualities made manifest. Mary Baker Eddy writes about this in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. She says, “Atonement is the exemplification of man’s unity with God, whereby man reflects divine Truth, Life, and Love” (p. 18). This means we are always united, or one, with God—that’s the “at-one-ment” (p. 19) Jesus demonstrated for us.
I started to understand that every one of us reflects God’s goodness. So there is nothing wrong with us that would make us unlovable or alone. Knowing this frees us from believing any negative thoughts that tell us anything different about who we really are or that deny our true, spiritual identity as God’s reflection. And God, who is Love, is always there to comfort us, too. This idea brought me a feeling of peace that I carried with me for the rest of camp.
Later that summer, I moved to a different school, and my spiritual growth continued, strengthening my understanding of my relation to God. I made friends—both at school and in dance classes. These new friends saw the best in me, and I in them. I finished high school happy, whole, and free of loneliness.
I’m grateful for this experience and what it’s taught me about my inseparability from God and His goodness. Although sometimes we may feel alone and lost, God, good, really is always with us, always loving us, and always reminding us of our goodness and perfection.
