No grief, just Love
I had often heard friends speak of the grief they felt when their mothers passed and the sense of loss that had stayed with them even years later. Now I greatly loved my own mum, but my experience when she passed last year could not have been further from that described by others. I was filled with such a deep sense of God, Love, loving me, my mum, and all that I felt only comfort and uplifting peace. By reflecting that same love, I was even able to comfort others who were grieving. This happened in such a natural way, not only for me but also for my family.
My parents had moved into an assisted living complex shortly before the initial COVID-19 lockdown in 2020. During the time of restricted visiting hours in the midst of the lockdown, my mother experienced health issues. I was not allowed to visit her because of some symptoms I was experiencing, even though I tested negative for the coronavirus. I was distressed because I felt my mum needed me, so I contacted a Christian Science practitioner. Our call was interrupted by a call from the complex supervisor giving permission to visit Mum. I called the practitioner back, and at her suggestion, agreed to pray not to have a specific outcome regarding my mum’s physical situation, but to feel Love’s presence with us, with all. Right away, that sense that my mother needed me vanished.
I recalled an inspiration I had gained years earlier regarding man’s oneness with divine Principle, Love, that led me to see that man (everyone, including my mum and me) is of God—originates in God; is caused and motivated by Him; includes all the component attributes of God, good; is fathered and mothered by divine Principle, Love. I asked myself, “Where was my mum before she was born? Where was I before I was born?”
Expounding on a Bible passage I had been praying with (John 1:12, 13 ), Mary Baker Eddy, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science, asks, “Is man’s spiritual sonship a personal gift to man, or is it the reality of his being, in divine Science?” Her answer includes this comforting promise: “When we understand man’s true birthright, that he is ‘born, not . . . of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God,’ we shall understand that man is the offspring of Spirit, and not of the flesh; recognize him through spiritual, and not material laws; and regard him as spiritual, and not material” (Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, p. 181 ).
My mum and I, then, had always existed, and now existed, in God. There is no death or birth process in God, Spirit.
Paul declares, “In [God] we live, and move, and have our being” (Acts 17:28 ). And Jesus’ prayer at the close of the last supper assures us of our absolute oneness with God: “Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; . . . as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us” (John 17:20, 21 ). I tangibly felt this oneness with our Father-Mother, Love. I knew it was the fact of me and of my mum—the reality of who and what we all are.
I was so grateful to be allowed to be with my mum and dad. My two brothers, who were often overseas, were both in town that week, and we were all allowed to stay each day for as many hours as we wanted to. Those last few days with my mum were very precious for us all. Our whole family felt the comfort and peace of the truth that God is Love and that God is with us.
Many of the staff in the complex were crying, but I was able to assure them that all was well, because I knew that Mum had always lived in God and couldn’t step outside God—outside infinite, divine Love.
I knew that Mum didn’t create any of her good qualities but forever included them as God’s reflection. Just as the moon reflects the sun’s light, Mum reflected all the good, all the love, all the truth of infinite good, God. She was a clear transparency for good, for ever-present Truth, for divine Principle, Love. And that Love was still with us. Our family felt Love’s presence with us and with my mum, enveloping and embracing all of us.
In the year since my mum passed, I have never once cried, and although I often think of her and love her, I don’t have any sense of loss for her or for me. And my dad, after seventy years of a most tender and happy marriage, honestly doesn’t feel alone or a sense of loss. I think that’s part of this waterfall of blessing that our whole family felt. It’s very humbling.
I am so grateful for all the truths we learn from the Bible and Mrs. Eddy’s writings. They shed the light of Love over our whole experience.
Cleveland, Queensland, Australia