The following was written in support of Church Alive, a focus of The First Church of Christ, Scientist, that explores the meaning and possibilities of awakening to the spiritual basis and impact of Church. 

No room for comparisons

I’d left church as a young adult. I had many reasons that seemed plausible at the time. When I was questioned by family and friends about why I left, I’d answer, “To explore other faith traditions.” But in truth it had more to do with always feeling left out, a failure, and not good enough to join the club.  

At the time, my parents weren’t “class taught.” They hadn’t been able to afford to send my siblings and me to one of the summer camps for Christian Scientists every year so that we had that sense of “belonging.” We weren’t third or fourth generation Christian Scientists. So, since church seemed to be all about “joining,” I didn’t feel like I had the right “temple-cred” to join church.

So rather than face the humiliation of one more question about who my mother’s Christian Science teacher was or what camp I’d attended, I went elsewhere. I visited churches, wineries, temples, schools, but there was still no sense of belonging. I soon learned that it wasn’t about finding the right church to belong to, but deciding what belonged in my heart.

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