Article February 2, 2009 Issue

THE TRUE STORY ABOUT ME

LETICIA GUTIEREZ HAYES-ALLEN,—BAGUIO CITY, PHILIPPINES

I USED TO THINK that fairy tales were not myths. When I was a child, while passing along the green meadows from school, I dreamed of becoming a lawyer and of marrying the right guy someday.

As I grew up and got married, though, things went differently. My marriage wasn't at all what I'd expected. I supported our family by working, and I also pursued my bachelor of law degree after office hours.

It seemed that there was no way out of my challenging marriage but to accept the situation. Separation of couples was not favored in Philippine society, and there was no divorce law. It was generally acceptable for men to have extramarital affairs or other vices, while women would be condemned for such acts by their family, clan, and society. Maintaining an intact family, no matter what, was the goal. It was only sometime in 1988 when the civil code of the Philippines was amended allowing annulment of marriage on certain grounds. Still, it was a tedious and costly process.

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