Article August 20, 2007 Issue

A DIFFERENT KIND OF ANSWER

BY TAMI MOULTON

MY HUSBAND AND I had been married for four years when we realized we were having difficulty having children. From the time I was a young girl, I'd had a deep, sincere desire to be a mother. I loved children. I always babysat for other people. In fact, all my life I went out of my way to care for children. People always commented to me, "You'll make a great mother!" But the years went by and despite my deep desire, still no children.

In Science and Health Mary Baker Eddy described such deep desire as prayer. She wrote, "Desire is prayer; and no loss can occur from trusting God with our desires, that they may be moulded and exalted before they take form in words and in deeds" (p. 1). The Bible assures us that God answers our prayers. For example, Jesus said, "Knock, and it shall be opened unto you" (Matt. 7:7) and, "Ask, and ye shall receive" (John 16:24). And in Isaiah, God says, "Before they call, I will answer" (65:24). But what about those times when a desire seems unfilled, or a prayer unanswered?

Many times during these years, I read Mrs. Eddy's statement about desire. I searched my soul about the purity of my desire. I knew it was important that my desire not be selfish, or based on human will, or a wish to share a common experience with friends, or even to provide grandchildren. But time went on ... ten years, then 14 years, and still, no child. At that point, I now found I had a new desire—to overcome a deep sense of grief about my unanswered prayer. This task seemed insurmountable.

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