RELATIONSHIPS May 7, 2007 Issue

THE ULTIMATE LOVE RESERVOIR

JANE GLASSER

I THINK EVERYONE wants to feel loved. But oftentimes it's tempting to want to be loved best. This desire to be the favorite crops up among siblings, in friendships and romantic relationships, and can even cause tension and competition in the workplace.

This craving is nothing new; it surfaces throughout the Bible. For example, Cain was jealous of Abel's preferred offering to God. And Jacob's 12 sons seethed at Joseph's favoriteson status (see Gen., chaps. 4, 37).

I certainly have felt the ups and downs caused by this craving to be loved best. In recent years, I had the tendency to latch on to certain friends like a barnacle and decide that a particular person was "my new best friend." I would pour inordinate amounts of time and attention into these relationships, usually neglecting other good friends and even my family in the process.