Article December 27, 2004 Issue

WE'RE FAMILY

By Caleb King

When you're single, it can be easy to slip into feeling sorry for yourself, especially when just about everyone you know is married, and you don't have family that's close, or someone special in your life. It hasn't always been easy for me. During holidays, I've had awkward dinners with people I hardly knew, spent time with families who were so close I wound up feeling even more alone. I've even spent a few holidays by myself.

But these days I feel good about the holidays. I'm no longer so concerned about how I spend them, or with whom. And I feel really comfortable being single, even with the proliferation of messages people get today that imply being married—especially married with kids—is somehow better.

The past few years, as I've become more aware of the opportunities to make connections with people—and understood the spiritual basis for those connections—I've felt a lot less lonely. When Jesus said, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself" (Matt. 22:39), I think he really provided a clear antidote to loneliness. In this context, I would interpret his words to also mean, "Love the people around you as if they were part of your family." (Of course, although we all may not get along with everyone in our family, we expect to because we have a preexisting relationship that's hard to ignore.)

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