Learning to trust

When My First Child was born, I remember my husband driving us home from the hospital. I was afraid to let him play the radio, even softly. I thought it might disturb the baby, who was sound asleep. Three years later, when my daughter came along, I had gotten to the point where I thought nothing of vacuuming under her bassinet while she slept. In other words, experience had taught me to let go of the many fears I had about mothering.

And another important change had happened: I had begun to study Christian Science. Through this study, I was learning about God's constant care, and consequently, I began to rely on prayer to deal with our health problems. And we all had healings. Yet I wasn't always consistent—especially when it came to my children's health. Sometimes I would become fearful. I would struggle with relying on prayer completely, and decide to take them to a doctor. And so it went—back and forth, between two choices for healing.

Once when they were little, I was giving my son medicine. I thought that because I wasn't relying exclusively on God for healing, I shouldn't take the children to a Christian Science Sunday School, where they would learn about praying for healing. After a few weeks, their Sunday School teacher called me. When I told her the situation, she said, "Oh, Sweetie—just give him a pill and bring him!" That was so freeing—and so loving. I will be forever grateful to that teacher. Her openness brought us back to where we were learning that God's love is always available, no matter what path we're taking. It meets us wherever we are—and no one is ever shut out. Today I feel much more able to calmly trust my children to God's care.

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October 21, 2002

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