Article October 29, 2001 Issue

Who's right?

By Demaris S. Wehr

IT IS AN ALMOST irresistible human tendency to try to affix blame to someone when we find ourselves affronted. Perhaps it's because we want explanations for evil. When bad things happen, we want to know why.

Many of us, probably all of us at times, are inclined to blame others. When we do that, however, we put ourselves in the powerless and victimized category. Others of us tend to blame ourselves. And when we do that, we put ourselves in the powerful and perhaps unrealistically responsible category of victimizer.

But either way, I believe that we are, at least unconsciously, endeavoring to understand why something happened to us. Once we've understood that, we may think we can deal with the "cause" of the discomfort.

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