q&a January 1, 2001 ISSUE

Ask Suzanne & Mark

with contributions from A.D., Y.B., Amanda E., Emily H., Katy K., Steve C.

Suzanne Smedley is Teen Editor of The Herald of Christian Science. Mark Unger is a radio and TV producer.

I get tired quickly when the professor explains something during class, and I often feel confused during exams and during lab practice. I have difficulties falling asleep, and problems with my heart pounding. A friend told me that it was perhaps my father's second wife who did this to me through a marabout or a fetishist, because she doesn't want me to do better than her own children in school.

A.D.
Misurata, Libya

Be aware of the fact that only God has power, and that He is completely good. Evil, no matter how real or impressive it seems, has no power. This is what the Bible says.

In the book of John, Jesus tells Pilate, "You have no power at all against me, except what was given to you from above" (John 19:11, The New Testament in Modern English, J.B. Phillips). In other words, evil can't do anything to you or anyone else, because it has no power from God.

When Jesus was tempted to believe in, or worship evil, he said, "Get thee behind me Satan" (Matthew 16:23). You have the authority and power of God to do the same. When you feel afraid of evil, tell it to "get lost," and remember that you are the blessed child of God. God's love governs, maintains, and controls you.

It may not be easy, but you have an opportunity to be kind to your father's second wife because she, too, is a child of God. She'll probably begin to feel less threatened by you, and you'll find that you have a much better relationship with her.

I'm 18 years old and my boyfriend is 17. We have different religious faiths. Sometimes he goes to church with me, but he doesn't like it much. I feel that I love him, but I don't think he's the right person for me. My parents don't know about our relationship. Should I continue seeing him?

Y.B.
Guantánamo, Cuba

It's a great feeling to be in love, but if you don't think he's the right person (and do you mean to marry?), then there must be a good reason you feel this way. Can you trust your boyfriend? Is he unselfish? Do you have enough in common? These are important questions to consider, in any relationship.

At 18 there's no rush to be serious about someone. Cultural traditions or family expectations might make someone feel pressured into thinking about marriage at a young age, but you still have so much to do in life! And you'll have plenty of time to meet other guys with whom you might have more in common.

Of course, if you enjoy your boyfriend's company, and you're happy just dating, then that's OK. Going out with a guy is a good way to find out more about him — and about yourself. Be honest with yourself and listen to your spiritual intuition. You'll know if, and when, it's right to split up with your boyfriend.

Remember that God wants only the best for you, and it's worth taking the time to discover what that is.

Teen readers respond to Y.B.

We don't know all the details of the relationship, but we can give you a few thoughts. First of all, communication is very important. Talk to your boyfriend about the depth of the relationship, and where it is headed. Then talk to him about your beliefs, and find out what it is you have in common that can help strengthen your relationship.

You mentioned that you parents don't know about your boyfriend. Why exactly don't they know? Is it because you think they wouldn't approve of the relationship, or the guy you've chosen?

Because God loves you, He leads you in the right direction. There's a chapter on marriage in Science and Health. It has a lot of good ideas about relationships. It could help you a lot in figuring out whether you two are right for each other.

Amanda E.,
Emily H.,
Katy K.,
Steve C.
USA

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