Article January 1, 2001 ISSUE

Me and the most popular girl in school

by Tiago Ferreira V. de Carvalho—São Paulo, Brazil

About two years ago I became friends with the most popular girl in school. It was the first time l'd ever had such a strong friendship. Vanessa and I talked a lot, opened up to each other, told each other secrets. We liked the same music, and we rooted for the same soccer team. Eventually we became best friends. It was the first time someone trusted me.

Some school friends started to say she was using me to make another guy jealous. When we talked about this, she got mad, and we argued. Soon after that, vacation started. Then I began to worry because I thought that when school started again, she would ignore me.

I told my Sunday School teacher what was happening, and she explained that I didn't have to be afraid, because I'm very loved by God. God's love never changes, so the true love we receive from Him never changes.

When school started again, Vanessa treated me the same way as before. But after two weeks the gossip started again, but even worse. We talked about this, and we started to fight a lot.

When I talked to the Sunday School teacher again, she helped me see that I had the habit of making jokes that embarrassed people when I didn't know what to say to them. She asked me to always remember what God said to Moses in the Bible, “Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say” (Exodus 4:12 ). Every time I went to talk to Vanessa, I would think about this so our conversations became calmer, and much shorter.

My friends still said I was dumb for being her friend, but now I saw that I had been angry with them only because of pride. I was embarrassed that they thought I was being used. But then I realized that Vanessa's friendship was more important to me than what they thought. After a few weeks nobody came to talk to me about her again.

When I saw Vanessa with other friends I felt jealous though. One day, in Sunday School, I learned that “love does not burn up with jealousy.” That's the way the phrase “charity envieth not” (I Corinthians 13:4 ) is translated in the Portuguese Bible. I understood from this that Vanessa wasn't my property.

The next day I was thinking about that at school, and I realized it was better to see her talking to other people than to see her sad. I stopped being jealous.

On the last day of school Vanessa asked me to call her and send her e-mails. She promised to answer, and we spent the school vacation calling and e-mailing each other. Everything I learned and put into practice has worked well, because we are still good friends.

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