Article October 12, 1998 Issue

Seeking approval?

Make sure you're trying to please the right boss.

By David C. Driver

Do you long for the approval of others? Your peers, perhaps? Or your boss? Your parents, children, spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, or your colleagues at work? I was speaking to a friend recently who told me how eagerly she sought recognition early in her professional life. And when she got it, she wanted more, and still more. It became almost an addiction. And still she was not satisfied. She had to learn to approach her work in a different way.

There was a time when I needed to learn that same lesson. I longed to please my boss. He was a good friend, a brilliant man of wide knowledge and experience. He headed a small, specialized division of a large government department, and was exacting in what he demanded of his employees.

My work included writing letters and reports that would be signed by people at different levels of government—from my boss, to the department head, right up to the cabinet. Subtle differences of tone were needed according to who would be signing each document. And I just wasn't getting it. The drafts would come back for amendments again and again until they were finally acceptable. I was getting frustrated and disgusted with myself for not grasping those concepts that would make my work worthy of immediate approval.

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