Over the hill?

At one time, I was feeling overwhelmed with the thought that I had not accomplished anywhere near as much as I wanted to in my lifetime, and that time was running out! I had been involved in activities that were meaningful to me, but it suddenly seemed that so many young people I knew were soaring beyond me.

I have usually been good at recognizing and appreciating other people's accomplishments. But now, a feeling of hurt mixed with jealousy tried to clamor for my attention when someone would point out the wonderful achievements of younger people he or she knew. My own recent efforts seemed so slow in bearing fruit. And I felt so unneeded that I was starting to break out in tears frequently.

Just as these feelings were building up in me, my husband spent quite a lot of time planning to go away on a hiking trip for a week with one of our sons. It seemed to me that he didn't want any of my ideas about things to do or buy in preparation for this trip. Then I realized I was substituting the feeling of being left out with the feeling that he should accept all of my ideas as being superior to his! I had encouraged their trip and had been glad for them. I wouldn't have wanted to go if I had been asked! So why was I feeling and acting this way?

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Editorial
Watching what's being sown
September 12, 1994
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