Testimony of Healing March 23, 1992 Issue

I Must have an eating disorder," I thought one morning as I...

Deborah Huelster with contributions from Elizabeth Bohl Huelster, John D. Huelster

I Must have an eating disorder," I thought one morning as I struggled to my car. I was on my way to the office following an evening, like many others, of overindulgence. I was utterly discouraged about myself and about my apparently total lack of discipline.

Truly I wanted a better sense of myself. But as much as I did, I could not seem to get past these evenings of self-indulgent eating. I would come home at night feeling tired and sorry for myself and would proceed to gratify every eating whim until the evening was too far gone to do anything else but tumble into bed, still feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled and certainly unattractive.

I had tried lots of diets. I had tried taking up jogging—again. I had tried to ignore my eating habits. But nothing worked for very long. I was a lifelong student of Christian Science. I had witnessed many physical healings. But in this situation I had been assuming for some reason that prayer was not enough or was somehow far from the issue at hand; that I had to "do" something humanly. Yet that morning, when the utterly hopeless and helpless thought came that I had an eating disorder, the mist of believing that merely human endeavor could alter my behavior was pierced by the realization that I could choose to think of myself in a different way.

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