Article October 15, 1990 Issue

Dealing with peer persecution

Does trying to be good do us any good? Is it really worth all the effort?

Robin Jagel Berg

We've probably all experienced peer pressure—the strong influence our peers have on what we think and do. Just feeling this pressure can be challenging sometimes. But those who consciously resist it may experience persecution from their peers—cruelty inflicted on them for not doing what their friends are doing.

People who choose, for instance, not to drink, smoke, take drugs, or engage in premarital sex—often in opposition to strong pressure to do these things—may have to deal with misunderstanding, resentment, or even ridicule and cruelty. But through their love of and obedience to God, good, they can come through those times stronger and even happier.

I learned something about this when I was in college. I had a friend there who was very intelligent, sophisticated, and witty, but he used these characteristics to manipulate people. This was taken to an extreme in his treatment of women. He was known to pursue a woman stubbornly with heavy charm and persuasive argument and then drop her after a one-night stand.

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