Article February 20, 1989 Issue

God is the answer

God isn't just an answer when you're searching for satisfying companionship; He's the answer.

Jennifer Hall Tefaaora

For many, finding someone with whom to share a permanent relationship can be an unfulfilled longing that eats away at happiness. When I was a teen-ager, the most important thing in my life—and the lives of many of my friends—was boys. I was terribly insecure and needed to be special to someone in order to feel I mattered. For me, that meant having a boyfriend.

When I wasn't going steady, I felt as though there were a huge vacuum in my life; and the part of me that didn't seem to be missing was filled with depression and tears of "what's wrong with me?" Even when I did have a boyfriend, I was never able to enjoy the relationship. I was constantly convinced that I wasn't good enough for him and that he would find someone else he liked better. This was definitely a no-win situation: I was miserable when I didn't have what I wanted and anxious about losing it when I did.

Though I had stopped attending Christian Science Sunday School, I would still sometimes browse through my mother's copies of the Sentinel. Whenever I came across an article about relationships or love, I would stop and read it, hoping to find the magic solution. But the solution I wanted was that I would have a boyfriend and that the article would tell me how to pray to get one! I didn't want to pray to see my completeness as God's image or to understand that because man is wholly spiritual, the reflection of God, there wasn't really any vacuum in my life. I didn't want to hear that I didn't need another human being to make me feel special, worthwhile, and happy. And so I always put down the Sentinel in disappointment.

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