In 1981 I developed severe physical difficulties

In 1981 I developed severe physical difficulties. Along with symptoms that included extremely stiff joints, I lost a lot of weight and my equilibrium was affected. However, through radical reliance on Truth, and with the prayerful help of a Christian Science practitioner, I was able to fulfill my responsibilities. Healing came during the course of three years—years of much spiritual growth.

When the physical difficulties occurred, the words rigid and unbending came to mind. My heart had grown very hard through the years. There were circumstances in my life I felt I just couldn't handle. I couldn't get on top of the human traits that were involved. Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy assures us (p. 391): "It is error to suffer for aught but your own sins. Christ, or Truth, will destroy all other supposed suffering, and real suffering for your own sins will cease in proportion as the sin ceases."

I worked with hymns in the Christian Science Hymnal, including Hymn No. 279, which states, "Healed is thy hardness, His love hath dissolved it." I endeavored to feel and express the love of God, making the most of each moment by being more peaceful, humble, gentle, grateful, joyous, and flexible. I kept acknowledging the perfection of God, the allness of God, recognizing that in my true being I was His spiritual reflection. This meant I derived the ability to progress from Him. I made a special effort to watch every thought and to refrain from unjust criticism, impatience, and irritation. As I continued in this way, striving to be more loving and more forgiving, there was a softening of my character.

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September 12, 1988
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