Article November 16, 1987 Issue

Suicide isn't the answer

There's a solution for the emotional pain that drives so many to despair: God, divine Love.

Philip G. Davis

I Was a teen-ager at the time and felt my life was closing in around me. I had been thinking a lot about suicide. One afternoon when I was especially depressed, I put my rifle against my head with my thumb pulling the trigger. I had won awards as a sharpshooter, so I knew how close to the release point the trigger was when, with the feeling that there had to be something better, I put the rifle down.

Years later I found out that my mother had been aware of my problems and had been quietly praying. Because we were Christian Scientists, it was natural for her to ask a Christian Science practitioner to pray, as well, to help heal her fear for my safety. I have no doubt that my mother's prayers and her steadfast love for me were part of what protected me while I learned to turn to God for help.

A couple of months after my near attempt at suicide, I enlisted in the United States Air Force. The pressure of basic training made matters worse, in some ways, but it also forced me to turn to Christian Science with all my heart. I had considered myself a Christian Scientist, but I had never really relied consistently on it for help before. Now I began to study in earnest, looking for an answer that would free me from the emotional pain I was feeling.

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