Doing the will of God

As a small girl in a boarding school a long way from home, I sat daily in chapel and listened, while the others slowly recited a prayer of resignation to God's will. Throughout the beautiful chapel, hushed young voices repeated that solemn prayer. It was a prayer I could not utter, and so, head bowed, I remained silent, hoping my refusal would not be noticed.

How could I resign myself to the will of a God I could not understand? First I would have to trust this God completely. And at such a tender age I was not going to yield my life to some mysterious faraway deity nobody seemed to understand fully. Hadn't I frequently heard grown-ups say in the most somber tones, "It is God's will," after some horrible event had taken place? With what I had been taught in religious classes, I felt that I could never measure up to what this God would require of me, so why bother? It amazed me that my schoolmates could take this prayer so lightly. Did they really mean what they said?

From which standpoint are we reasoning?
February 24, 1986

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