Ever since I was a small child, the sense that life was temporary or mortal bothered me a great deal. Our family attended an orthodox church, and although I always felt very loved by the members there, I did not find satisfying the doctrines professed by the church. When I was in high school, our family began attending a branch Church of Christ, Scientist. (An uncle of my mother's was a Christian Science practitioner and had helped her through prayer with several problems.) In the Christian Science Sunday School I learned that God is divine Love, unlimited good, and man is God's image and likeness. I also learned that no one is excluded from God's all-embracing care.

To me the most wonderful concept of all was discovering that man is not and never was a mortal sinner. God's man—the real being of each of us—is pure and perfect. I did not realize until much later how this belief that God could make a sinner had burdened me. Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy tells us (p. 171): "Through discernment of the spiritual opposite of materiality, even the way through Christ, Truth, man will reopen with the key of divine Science the gates of Paradise which human beliefs have closed, and will find himself unfallen, upright, pure, and free, not needing to consult almanacs for the probabilities either of his life or of the weather, not needing to study brainology to learn how much of a man he is."

After high school I married, and later we began raising a family. For several years I quit attending church. During this period I experienced severe depression from time to time. A point was reached when I realized my need was to know God better, and I began to attend the branch church again and asked for help through prayer from a Christian Science practitioner. There were times of great challenge, but during them false beliefs came to the surface of thought and were handled and healed. The practitioner who was working with me helped me see that I was experiencing a mental transformation, from a material view to the spiritual understanding of my real being.

During this time I was accepted for class instruction in Christian Science. The two weeks of class answered so many of the questions that were in my thought then. Afterward, when overwhelming depression threatened again, I called my Christian Science teacher. His clear understanding opened my eyes to the need to be firm in denying depression as a lie about reality. Some days all I could hold to was knowing that depression is not of God and therefore has no power over me. Whenever I felt vulnerable, I would study my class notes and the Bible Lesson for the week [outlined in the Christian Science Quarterly ] until I felt secure and strong in what I was learning of God and man's real nature.

This was not a quick healing, but that was not important compared with the spiritual understanding I was gaining. Every day there were opportunities to prove through healing what I was learning. The testimonies in our periodicals were especially important to me because they pointed to the nowness of God's healing power.

The climax to all this came one Wednesday evening as I was attending our branch church's testimony meeting. I arrived feeling especially low. The first hymn we sang from the Christian Science Hymnal was No. 200, which begins: "O daughter of Zion, awake from thy sadness; / Awake, for thy foes shall oppress thee no more." As I thought about these words a warm, enfolding sense of God's allness, power, and goodness came over me. The depression disappeared right then, and I never suffered from it again. This healing occurred more than eleven years ago.

I can never be grateful enough for the understanding I am gaining, through the study of Christian Science, of my relationship to God and to the whole of creation.

JUDITH F. CHAPLIN Chesterton, Indiana