When plots fail

During an afternoon walk I began thinking about a movie I had seen and about how poor the plot was. The thought came to mind: "The writer failed in his attempts to plot." These words were a rude awakening for me. I realized this was exactly what I had been doing since high school— attempting unsuccessfully to plot my life through willfulness and human planning.

Assertiveness and strong will are highly valued in much of the world. Many people admire a "go and get it" attitude. And during my early adult years, this was exactly what I had. Anything I thought I might enjoy, I did. I overcame many obstacles in my searches for success and happiness. I tried many different careers in a short span of time.

Very soon, though, after trying a new career, I would begin thinking, "Surely my intellect and creativity can be put to better use, to a more satisfying purpose." Then off I would go to discover another new facet of the world. Needless to say, the satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness I was ultimately searching for were never found, because I was building on the evanescent and limited foundation of mortality.

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August 12, 1985

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